which he spent blowing raspberries on his own arm in fits of laughter and blowing me kisses whenever we made eye contact.
I think we may need a different approach with this one.
My kids have discovered Michael Jackson’s Thriller. (Not the video, obviously, since I don’t want to scar them for life at ages 1 & 4, but the song itself.) They LOVE it and ask to hear it constantly, so I started teaching them the video choreography today because, um, why not? Will is catching on, and it’s so freaking hilarious. I’m really hoping that he’ll let me teach him more, and I can’t wait to get this on video to blackmail him with someday ;)
When stores have a limited number of grocery carts that actually hold two children, and you approach the last remaining one at the same time as I do with my TWO children, and you’re holding the hand of a SINGLE child, and then you shimmy in front of me (because I’m moving at a sloth pace with two kids who are less than enthused about this grocery adventure) to take that cart, then YOU SIR, ARE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. And I will pretty much follow you through the store giving you dirty looks and shaking my head and saying things loudly like, “Will, can you please stay close to the cart?! I’m sorry you aren’t able to ride in the cart. There are very selfish people in the world, and I guess this is a lesson you’d better learn now.” Because if we’re having an asshole contest, sir, I’m willing to take it to the next level. And I will follow you even more closely to subject you to my child who is running wild and screaming about the inferiority of certain yogurt flavors I’ve dared to place in the cart.
I hope you went home and complained about me to your wife and she schooled you on how you don’t do shit like that. My husband schooled me on the fact that someone is probably going to pull a gun on me someday for my antics. But whatever, you’re still the bigger asshole.
— Ted Alexandro (via bumbershootfestival)
- Me (to A): Will told me today that he'd like to take karate.
- Will: Daddy, did you ever do karate when you were little?
- A: No, I always wanted to learn karate, but we didn't have the money when I was a kid.
- Will: Whomp, whomp.